so today was a bad start

Okay, so this morning, it was a mistake to go into the thread to read. Apparently, there is this idiotic f***-up person that posted a posting agst me. I can only guess 1 person who would do such thing, that is the Mrs W*** who I had conflict with in the forum.

Who else have crossed path with me? Jealous that I have good friends in the thread? Well well, that person sure would get her retribution. Just for your info, my baby is well and alive and kicking at the last check up.

So well, you know who you are, you will get your retribution, and God definitely knows.

Leisure Sat...

This morning was woken up by hubby to get ready to the gynae. Aiyo, woke up at 9am, and our appointment was at 1030 am. So rush rush rush lor.. Shower, makeup and got everything ready by 940am. ahahhaha, not bad har!

The clinic was crowded today. Surprisingly. I was hoping deep down that I wont bump into meeting my poly friend, and well..who knows lah, she was there for her check up too. So pretended to read the papers lah, kekeke. And then hubby told me that her mother actually knows his mother and her mother told his mother that she was due to deliver in Sept. Got it?

Well, met her the first time in Feb, when I was there to check up, then who knows that was the dreadful day I lost my bb too. So aiyah, this time see her, dun want her to ask this and that lor.

So well, today's appointment was alittle rush leh, maybe coz there are too many patients waiting liao. I went in, asked few qns, then scan. I was so worried that I wont be able to detect the heartbeat. Aiyah, heard too many stories liao mah. So when dr said this is the heartbeat, I was like phew, where where? My little bb has grown, he's now measuring 21.5mm. And I can see his little limbs too. So excited. My blood test is normal too. So hubby is really relieved.

So now, I've gotta wait for 3 weeks later for my next appointment. By then I should be abt 11weeks liao...

While out shopping at Toa Payoh Central, I chanced upon this lingerie shop that sells really cheap bras. I needed to get some, my current ones are killing me!!! I cant even stretch anymore, coz boobs are getting bigger and practically spilling out. But then I sure do love the cleavage that I have now. :p But then hubby's always pulling up my low cut top. ahahahah..

Ended up buying 3 bras at just 2.90 each only. This is the first time I'm getting dirt cheap bras man. Who cares as long as they are comfortable. The auntie so funny, asked me for my size and I said 90, she was shocked and must be thinking got so big meh? So I had to explain that I'm expecting and my current 85 is already very tight...muahahahahaa...Can never forget her expression.

Happening...

Been a long long time since I have time to update my blog. So many issues, so many things happen.

Hubby got fed up at work and tender last Wednesday after returning to office with 2 days MC on Monday and Tuesday. He tender without a job, as he couldnt take the politics and bad evil colleagues who were just stabbing behind each other.

That morning he just woke up at 530 opened his eyes and told himself he will tender that morning. He waited for me to wake up before telling me and then went to type the resignation letter. He had mixed feelings, but I was sure he wanted to quit there and then.

So anyway, long story short, he withdrew his resignation letter on Tuesday. He was worried he will be jobless for months and without any income. Baby is going to be due in 7 months time and we need cash to make payment for my gynae visits too, bills, bills and bills. Plus, our dining table is arriving on 5th August and the statement is still not here.

Oh well...But seems like he hasnt been happy since he withdrew his letter. I was so afraid he might just go into depression. He's wrote me a very very touching letter and I tear when I read it on the bus. Those few nights after he tender, he needed comfort from me alot. Just a simple squeeze on the hand, or holding hands tight to sleep makes him feel at ease. I was glad I can be there for him.

Okay, then, my problem at work. My team member threw the white letter also. WTF leh. Of all times, now. To think I had wish I was the one leaving, if it's not that I'm expecting. And now that she threw, she think she can bo chap everything. For the record, she has been taking leave on every monday this whole month and just took 2 days MC on 24th and 25th. She had promised to submit some reports to another colleague on Monday and then she just MIA, expecting me or someone else to clear the pile of shit for her. How smart can that be. This isnt the first time liao, even boss is angry with her. Mad Mad Mad. I didnt even want to talk to her today at all. We tried to sms her, call her and she didnt even reply at all. I asked boss if she did inform her she will be on MC on tuesday as well, boss said she claimed she sms-ed her in the afternoon, but boss didnt receive it. So who is the liar here.....She should know the answer.

So now that she is leaving, I'm left with a pile of shit lah. And more work = more stress = not happy at work = want to quit. What the hell leh. And then, I got 2 missed calls from Credit Suisse on Monday, thinking they might want me back for interview. So I wrote back to the blur HR personnel, and guess what. She said she received a call from another girl same name as me and presumed I was the one! Blur leh! How can such personnel be working at such a big company????? Fire her lah! This is the 2nd mistake she has made liao!

I also discovered that my colleague applied for the same job as me and she went thru 3 rounds okay! Tot got chance liao, who knows, they didnt call her back. She abit buay song lor, waste time only leh. Really leh, dress up nicely, bring resume etc, then go interview, then scarly, nothing out of it.

I'm getting worried. My temper has been really bad and is bad for baby. HOw how how. I pushed forward my appointment from next Sat to this coming Sat. I want to find out if bb is growing well or not. Worried lor. And I dont have any morning sickness at all. Everything is like normal, just that I get hungry every 3 - 4 hours. The gossip still continues at work lor. Just dun listen. and yesterday, just got to know boss is also preggie. kekeke, 8 weeks. She bought the pregnancy test kits from me and must have tested positive then lah. Happy for her...

Bad bad day...

This morning started as a bad bad day for me..xian lah, dun wanna talk abt it also. Got into a stupid argument with some bitch on the forum for nothing and made myself so miserable and upset and throw tantrums at hubby.

All because of advice given to a good friend whom we know each other since 2004 or 2005...and this stupid bitch just come and show off her damn knowledgeable advice like that. KNS lah. Anyway, getting upset is no good for bb. I have to learn to curb my temper.. I've been feeling very pek chek ever since and get so frustrated at little little things...haiz...

And then just now mother gave me some bread and when we got home, hubby went to put the bread into the fridge!!! ARGH!!! I got so so mad with him. Why the fridge for what! Then I had to take the bread out and now it is moist. fed up

What a surprise...

This morning as I dropped by motherhood to read up on the March MTB, I spotted a familar nickname...hahah, it appeared that this girl whom I know from the May ROM thread also preggie and has the same EDD date as me....*wink*

2nd visit to the gynae....

Baby watching Part 2. That's what they said it was called whenever parents to be makes a trip to the gynae to see how their little darling is coping...

Yesterday morning, there was a light shower and the weather was so nice and cooling. Woke up and checked my email and realised that I have an email from Credit Suisse, for a 3rd round interview on Thursday, ie today. Well, it turned out to be a mistake. Huge mistake from the HR side. They actually got mixed up with another girl of the same name as me! Supposedly the email state that the girl was to come for the 1st round interview. I think they bull-shit. The header stated 3rd round interview. SO how can it be a 1st round interview?

Made me so stressed up yesterday for nothing okay. Was thinking what to do if I got the job, how to reject them etc okay. Stupid darn HR. It's a blessing in disguise I suppose. Was just telling hubby that whenever bb arrives, I have a major decision to make. Like the first time, we had to decide if we wanted to carry on the pregnancy. As it turned out, bb decided it wasnt time for him to make his appearance to us.

And now the second time round, this time I've gotta give up a highly paid job for bb's sake. Might as well lah. With pregnancy now, I need rest and I need to take leave or MC as and when I am not feeling well and I have a very understanding supervisor too. Just an sms to her, she'l understand. Furthermore, I doubt I can handle stress in a new environment.

Okay so much abt that stupid job. Back to baby watching har. Met up with hubby for lunch at Gleneagles, then had to spend 2 hours waiting for my gynae to open door. Aiyo....It was freezing cold outside waiting at the lift lobby. And as time ticks pass, hubby got worried. When it was 2pm, he grabbed my hand, and said, " Let's go see hector now.." kekekeke. His palms were sweating!

We had to wait for half an hour before our turn. So meanwhile did my sugar level test, took my weight. Aiyo, I put on weight again leh, so terribly upset. ; (

Okay, it's our turn and as we went in, my heart was pounding real fast. Usual qns, any morning sickness, any problems, any bleeding etc and then up on the bed to check on the bb. Tummy scan first, then we managed to detect the water bag and the little yolk sac..So happy! Then gynae said to do vscan to see in detail. Cham lor, it was a very huge look alike penis thingy okay. And it was really uncomfortable when it was inside me. But once my eyes were laid on the screen, I didnt really bother. Immediately, Dr and nurse said they managed to see the heartbeat. I was like " where? where?" I cant even see with the scanning thing moving about. Aiyo, hubby was getting excited too, trying to see. There it was, a little flickering thing. Thats the heartbeat, so happy leh....

So I asked for a copy of the screenshot to keep. Then Dr said to draw blood for testing of rubella, HIV lah, etc etc. Aiyo, draw blood leh, I was so freaking scare that before the needle poke in, I was like dying. and when it poke in, I tried my best to relax. They said my blood was really slow and they had a hard time finding my vein. Time tick pass, wah liao, so long leh, I think about 3 mins okay. Dr was asking the nurse, enough blood already or not? Nurse went like not enough not even 3cc leh. blah blah. I was there breathing hard, closing eyes, so scare and pain liao leh..wah kaoz... then when dr say okay lah, should be enough because he see me so scared, then he pull out the needle, so pain leh!!!! I tear lor!!! sob sob...then he say sorry lah my dear....hahahah

And horror horror, the nurse say, my blood clot!!! How to use for the lab! Pengz leh. Are they doing to draw another time?? I hope not. Read on...

So we discussed with dr about our baby lah, and my estimated due should be 4th March 07, and I'm about 6weeks 4 days as at today. So happy lor. I have a big water bag also, forgot to ask if it was normal or not. Then my gynae said he decided not to deliver anymore and would hand me over to his student who is now a well known gynae also just few doors away. He would prefer to hand me over to someone he can trust and know his style well rather than someone he dont know. So I'm quite relieved and guess I would stick with his decision.

He went on sharing with us some story about his young time as a doctor at KKH. Said till todate, he still holds the record of performing a caesarean at 13.5min from cutting up to stitching back. His superior is 15mins and he hates his superior to the core..hahahha.

Okay, so out we went, to collect my medication. Well, who knows, Pauline the nurse said she needed to draw blood from me again, because my blood has clot up and she needs extra just in case the lab cant perform test using my clot up blood. kao leh...go through another round of crying again...sob sob...Pain pain. Blue black leh on my left and right hand.

Tuesday...

Haiz....today hubby had a bad day at work. He woke up this morning at 5am, told me that he didnt feel like going to work and wanted to throw MC. I said sure.

But he changed his mind later, saying he had things to do and so had to report to work. Alas...I know he is very upset over work, but what to do. Like last night, he said he seem to be suffering from depression. He has no goal and no idea what to do.

He's on the lookout for jobs now, and hopes to get a switch after his reservist. Haiz, as his wife, I really dont know how to console him. So I always ask his buddy to help me talk to him. Guess men to men talk helps him better, instead of me...

Tomorrow's my 2nd appointment with Dr Seng. Hubby is looking forward to seeing his bb with the heartbeat. I hope we can see a small flicker. Not sure if it is still too early or not. I'm hoping that everything will work out fine. Been feeling so paranoid. I havent had any serious morning sickness and am so afraid that my symptoms will just all disappear overnight indicating there might be some problem inside me...Cant stop worrying...

Dinner at Miss Clarity

Yesterday after work, I headed down to Raffles City to meet up with my gfs for dinner. Wah, so long didnt see them liao. Well, in a way, Shirley was really nice lah, said I became very tan instead of commenting on me putting on weight. ahahah. Well, yeah, I blamed it on the Spain and Portugal sunny weather. Then as Linda, Shirley and me waited for Cassie to come down from Robinsons, Linda was just wondering how big Cassie's tummy would be.

Cassie just delivered her first ang moh bb boy on 19th Jan this year and she told Linda she was pregnant few weeks back. Conceive in April. So Linda was waiting eagerly to see...Then who knows, when cassie came by, she said she had a miscarriage and lost the baby. It was at 10 weeks.

She told me that she had spotting on the night before seeing her gynae. And when the gynae scanned, it shows that the baby did not develop normally and the heartbeat had stopped. There was slow growth at 10 weeks as compared to a 6 weeks baby. I was so upset deep down inside, because I know how she felt and I went through it. I never expected it to happen to someone close to me. Afterall, she had a very easy going first time pregnancy, how would it happen at the second time? So unpredictable.

She was upset over it, but said got over it quite soon after as she was flying off to London with her husband and son. Her hubby got station over at London, envy her!!!! She would be flying off on the 25th of July which is very very soon. Coincidentally, Linda's having her driving test on 25th too. She's very very gan cheong about it and doesnt sound confident. We gave her some push of confidences and hope it does helps her.

Come to think about it, I was just pondering exactly how many weeks am I. If I had conceive on 9th June, then add 2 weeks before would be my supposedly first day of menses. So that makes me 6 weeks this week and hence last week when I visited my gynae, the scanning machine said I was 5 weeks 3 days based on the size of the sac. So in fact, it is quite accurate lah.

I'm keeping fingers crossed and hope and pray everything would go well this time and I would be eagerly waiting for my child in March. And it's gonna be somewhere near daddy's birthday!

The story about travelling on MRT

Was reading on the forum and there was this angry thread on ugly and uncivilised singaporeans who dont give up their seats to pregnant woman. This is not a new topic, but one that has been repeated several times.

Last time I would give up seats to pregnant ladies. If I'm with hubby, he's the one who gives up his seat. Then I thought to myself, why must pregnant ladies insist on having a seat on the MRT? Why must they have those special priviledge just because they have a bump? I can comprehend the elderlys, but pregnant ladies who are early in their trimester?

I told myself if I am pregnant, which I am now, I wont rush for seats. Wait till there's an empty seat then take lah. Coz I been through those office workers who are so so tired at the end of the day and just want to take a seat, close their eyes and rest. It's not easy to get a seat on the mrt at peak hours so that seat is very precious to them. So I can understand why some would pretend to sleep, look at their handphone etc. But I do not understand why pregnant ladies are grumbling about lor.

Hubby said if I am in my final trimester and I have difficulties walking, he would sponsor me cab daily to work. I can easily get a seat at harbourfront after work, so is not a problem.

I've been feeling VERY VERY tired easily and I have to drag myself out of bed every morning. Hubby had to wake me up several times before I step out of bed. Last night went to MIL's house for dinner first as hubby had to work OT. Drank lots of water and as a result, I woke up twice to pee last night. Irritating. Girlfriends said more to come as my pregnancy progress. Grrrr...

Tonight gonna meet my gf for dinner at City Hall. I've yet to share with them the good news. Probably wont be sharing until my tummy starts to show. Is really hard to keep this good news to myself and not share, but then if it's for the sake of bb, I'l do anything.

Oh god, I'm starting to throw up

Woke up this morning feeling happy that I bought the total goals and France to win. They won 1-0. But poor hubby lost all, he bet on Portugal. Told him liao, he dun listen. I still made $19.50. muahahahah.

I didnt feel good this morning. It seems my tummy is extremely bloated and I have this urge to throw up but I cant. Chest felt pain as well. Was it the late meal I had yesterday night at Noodles Hut? Grr....The feeling is horrible.

I thought I am feeling hungry and hence the gas is making me very nausea, so I took my bread and although it did help alittle, I still dont feel good. It's as if something is jammed right up in my chest area. Oh man.

Is the the first sign of morning sickness?

Worrying sick

The interview went perfect yesterday and I aced it through. I'm pretty sure I would get shortlisted for the 2nd interview, but deep down, I am hoping I wont. Because I dont want to reject them. I would rather they reject me. I hate to reject such a good good good opportunity!!!! ARGH!!!!!

Yesterday, I went to the toilet to change into heels before going for the interview. The lady was really nice and concentrated mainly on my job scope. She did ask about my EDD and said it wasnt a concern as they just have to make some necessary adjustment to ensure someone can cover my duties if I am on maternity leave. Dont wanna talk about it liao.

Then after that, headed home with hubby and when I went to pee, my god, I saw brown specks on my pantiliner, scare the shit out of me okay! I cried for hubby and he was shocked too. Then as I wipe, there was few more brown discharge. So worrying!!! I got paranoid and then just sat there not wanting to do anything, mind just went blank.

Hubby told me to eat dinner, shower and get up onto the bed to rest. I did and was so disturbed, I tear....and started sms-ing friends for console...I didnt sleep well last night, woke up to pee at 5am to see if there was anymore brown spotting and there wasnt. It was a relief.

Morning woke up and was in a big dilemma if I should report to work or give myself one more day to rest at home. Hubby said to go work and if there's spotting, to take half day and rest. Okay lor, so I walked very very slow to take the bus, the train and to work.

I didnt dare visit the toilet in the morning, because I was afraid to see brown again. But luckily there wasnt any. I had slight cramps, but think I was just thinking too much....

The hermit....

Last night after work, hubby and I made our way down to Maxwell House for our tarot cards reading session.

I was skeptical about it, and was surprised that hubby was game for it to try. He said he was curious to know about this, so that was why he dont mind going to try.

We were both given the numerical reading based on our names in birth cert and our date of birth. All in all, for hubby's reading, Renae said that he is not to be a desk bound job holder. He will get bored very easily during the daily routine work. He has to go out to meet clients, to meet people. This is so so true for hubby, because he doesnt like facing the computer at all and be bounded at his desk. As for mine, it says that my personality and detiny is very opposite. I am hardworking, able to do admin, paper work, etc, but yet my destiny says that I am someone who needs assurance, need companionship and constantly need encouragement. I am cut to be a businesswoman and can handle it very well. *ahah, at this point hubby looked at me and laughed*

Then Renae went on to telling us the year we are in. There is a cycle of 9 years and each of us have few years where there is big disturbance going on. And I happen to be in the 9th year of cycle, which is the last year. There has been many big changes, big development, big big issues that happened this year for me. True enough. It does makes sense. My wedding, my failed pregnancy. These are big enough to me already. And next year will be a good start for me, smooth sailing.

Then went on to the Tarot cards reading. I asked abt my job first. She said based on the tarots cards I just had a promotion and it doesnt shows why I should leave. Besides there is going to be a good news very soon, probably July or August. So she was puzzled why I should leave my present company. That good news would probably be about my pregnancy. So when hubby told her, Renae said the more I should stay on. Big big dilemma. Then she said I may not be happy at my new job and might get stressed. When she knew abt my pregnancy, she said she has a feeling I may not get the job. I think to myself, everyone is advicing me not to leave now, since I'm expecting. I know I know. This is a good opportunity for me, but Renae added on, I would have even better offer next year which is year 1 a fresh new start. Sigh.

Then I went on asking abt my pregnancy. The cards point to a smooth delivery. Phew. But there was a queen tarot card that appeared again. She asked me to pull 2 more cards out and it tells her it is an older person and this older person is very concern about me and would be very strict with me throughout my pregnancy and want me to rest and I have to listen. She then asked when I was due and I said late Feb, early March. She said from the card, it points that my child will be a March baby. I asked her how she know and she said the card I pulled out was a summer card. wee wee...Hubby is so happy, because its the same month as his birthday.

Then she added on I pulled out this card that has 3 swords stabbed into the heart. She said this card is telling me not to despair if things does not go wrong. I was worried! I thought what could go wrong, so I told her about my failed pregnancy and she said yeah, that could be the card. That I still cannot forget the past hurt I suffered and so I kept on worrying non stop.

After I left, I had mixed feelings. I was glad that this time the pregnancy would be smooth and I can relax abit and be a happy and pretty mummy to be instead of worring sick. Then I am thinking twice about leaving my job now. I went back home and replied to the HR, told her to help me double check with the interviewer if she is still keen to meet up with me if I am pregnant. And yippy, I was quite happy that she said okay to meet up with me.

I woke up this morning with a heavy head. Didnt sleep well last night and decided to take a day off. Hubby said would I still be able to take leave as and when I like in my new job? Of course I cant and that made me think twice again. I would have to give up a well paid job that I have been waiting for so long. But of course with a well paid job, it comes with a price too, stressful job? At the new work place, I wont be able to msn anymore, they block hotmail, yahoo etc and it's gonna be an open concept. Would I be happy? I dont know.

Ex colleague who is working there just updated me that they have shifted yesterday to Ocean Building at Raffles Place. and 6 months later to shift to One Raffles Quay the new building. I am not sure if that place is convenient or not,but I never imagine I would be working at Raffles place. I love the new location now so much! It's a suntec city, near to Marina Square. Just that I have to walk quite a distance before I reach the MRT. sob sob.....

If I reject them this time, will they accept me the next time again?

Tiring Sunday....

Yesterday, my gf brought her darling bb booy Xavier to our place to pay us a visit. Oh boy, just 4 months and he is such a big boy liao! Very cute, he wanted to talk, but then duno what he googling about leh. ahahahah. He slept on our bed also, so hope we can have all his luck on our bb...

Last night I went for my mani/pedi at Good Earth nail spa and poor hubby had to wait for me for 1.5 hr. He went shopping and spotted a suitable dining table that he thinks I would like at Barang Barang...So he dragged me there to see. I saw 2 suitable tempered glass table...

1 that cost $1150 and after 20% is $920. The other cost $890, after 40% is $534 only. I like the $534 one, but then the $920 looks very chic, not sure if it suits our theme or not.
The above table is the $920 piece. It comes in a round table too.

I cant find the other table that I like on the website...mm..but this morning told hubby that we shall order that table and have to get good chairs....

Yesterday 4 D har, so dui ah. The number we bet on, came out but jumped. Aiyo!!!! Told hubby, he upset lor. What to do. Just continue donating to Singapore Pools and hope we can get back the money some day.

Was so mad with hubby. I told him to buy 1 goal for the Brazil vs France match and he actually did not buy!!! We left the slips at home as we stayed over at my parents place last night. So it was only when we returned home and I checked the slips and realised he did not buy! So mad leh. I cant rem the odds, but I'm sure I could have won $10-$12 at least!!!! See lah. So mad so mad.

Hubby's ex colleague from India is here for a week business trip. Was suppose to give him a surprise, but I let the cat out of the bag. hahahah..Now his colleague cant trust me. I gotta stay at home to rest and meet my colleagues to attend a colleague's wedding dinner tonight at Amara Hotel. I'm getting sleepy and tired very easily since I took the hormone pills. Breast getting heavier and sore too, and my tees seem to be getting smaller and smaller, which makes me feel so sad!!!! Argh.....I doubt I can still fit into my old pair of jeans liao....sob sob.